I try really hard not to be a hypocrite. Really, really hard. I do. When the boys were born, feeding them the purest, healthiest foods became a top parenting priority for Jon and I. Making such a thing a priority for our boys also helped make it a priority for us. Jon and I no longer eat fast food. We don't drink pop. It is a rare occasion when Jon has a beer with his buddies. We only eat whole grains- breads, pastas, even tortillas. We all switched to Greek yogurt and we even scoop out one spoonful of the fruit at the bottom and toss it in the garbage to reduce the sugar. We all eat whole grain, low sugar cereal for breakfast. We don't eat processed cheeses or pre-packaged meals. If the boys have to eat their vegetables, Jon does too. And after 3 years and 11 months, he doesn't complain anymore! He rarely even makes faces when the boys aren't looking. To be honest, I think he secretly likes green beans and broccoli though I'm not sure he'd ever admit such a thing aloud if not in the boys' immediate presence. We figure that if we insist that the boys eat this way, we should too. It's only fair.
But every now and then, a mama needs her sweets. A) I will blame my mother for this. I don't know if it was nature, nurture, or a solid 50/50 split down the middle, but it is 100% my mothers fault that I crave my extra and unnecessary calories from sweets. And 2) I don't drink. Not even wine. If every single one of my Facebook friends gets to post the funny little eCards about polishing off a bottle of wine after the kids go to bed, then gosh darn it, I can polish off a secret bowl of ice cream every now and then. Every parent of 3 year old twins has to survive somehow! When Jon and I are blessed with an hour or two alone, we go out for dessert- even though we would never let the boys devour a giant cup of Coldstone ice cream on their own. When my mom serves Saunders hot fudge over ice cream for dessert, I hide behind the counter and let the jar of hot fudge linger over my bowl much longer than I should. And when Kroger has the giant box of Lucky Charms on sale for the first time in God knows how long and I manage to sneak a box into the very bottom of the shopping cart while successfully distracting both of my children with the wonders of the spaghetti sauce aisle, for crying out loud- HELP A MAMA OUT!!!! I also managed to get my box secretly onto the checkout counter while the boys were helping unload the cart and talking to Mr. Michael, the man bagging our groceries. I said this exact line to Mr. Michael as the bright and colorful box of Lucky Charms slid his way- "Mr. Michael, is there any way you could hide mama's box of cereal so the boys don't see it?" Pretty straight forward, right? "Sure!" he replied, then he picked up the box and in his best pirate (leprechaun?!) voice shouted "That's me Lucky Charms!!!!!" as he waved the box in front of both of my children. Seriously??? SERIOUSLY?! I mean, really dude?!?!
I really honestly try not to be the hypocritical mother who won't let her kids eat sugary, processed foods then devours said delicacies when they are not looking. But once, just this once, I wanted to sneak a box of my favorite childhood cereal- something I would NEVER pay full price for but *gasp* it was on sale- so that I could sit in the peace and quiet before the boys wake up and eat half a box in one sitting. Just this once. And I was close- ooooooh soooooo close! Despite his uncanny ability to blow my cover in a mere 6 seconds, I thanked Mr. Michael kindly for bagging our groceries. But I swore that next time I'll use the self-check out and just do it on my own :)
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