Five Things I Hope My Children Have To Do In Life

Our GPS was stolen out of our car a few weeks ago.  Not having the extra money to replace it, Jon and I have taken to the semi-old fashioned way of driving- printing out directions and *gasp* using a map.  I headed out last night for an evening with my twin mama friends at a restaurant I had never been to before, so I printed out my directions before leaving the house.  Without the boys in the back to distract me with their millions of questions like "Mama, when will fossils get their skin back?" and "Mama, what kind of wood are pirate ships made out of?" I found myself truly enjoying my trip without a GPS.  Instead of focusing on a tiny little screen on my dashboard, waiting for the next red arrow to pop up with the mechanical voice telling me to "Turn Left Ahead", I was focus on what was on the other side of the windshield.  I had to actually think about where I was, where I was turning, where I was going.  I looked up to the sky to find the sun so I could check my direction.  I noticed the crisp blue sky and the way the setting sun bounced off the clouds.  While on familiar roads I noticed houses and shops I had never taken note of before and while on new roads I noticed patches of woods in an otherwise populated area.  And I got to thinking...  I got to thinking that I hope someday the boys have their GPS's stolen or their iPhones lost or whatever it is they will use to drive on total and complete autopilot disabled so that they are forced to drive with intention. 

One year after Jon and I started dating and long before either of us owned a GPS, we took a road trip from Detroit up to the Gaspe Peninsula in Montreal, Quebec and then weaved down through the eastern United States making two stops in Maine, one in Boston, and one in New York.  It took us two full weeks.  We had a folder of printed out directions and a glove box full of maps- and we navigated the way all on our own.  I hope that someday our boys have to do the same.  I hope they learn to read a map.  I hope they have to read each street sign and each exit marker because they're not sure when their turn will pop up.  I hope they wonder what is around each bend or who lives down each dirt road they pass.  I hope they have to dream about what it would be like to live in each adorable house or farm they drive by- because they are paying enough attention to notice all of the beautiful places they pass.  I hope they do not live their entire life driving for nothing more than each "Turn Left Ahead" warning, because it becomes so easy to rely on such a thing that one barely even remembers what's left and what's right if it weren't for the red arrow on the dashboard screen.

And once I got to thinking, I kept right on thinking- about the things I sincerely hope our boys will have to do at some point in their lives.

I hope our boys learn to write in cursive.  Sure, computers are fast and easy.  But I hope our boys have to go through the painstaking process of learning to master each curvey letter.  I hope they learn to take pride and ownership in their work when it takes so much time and patience to complete.  While many school districts across the country are ditching cursive as it is "old-fashioned" and "irrelevant", I can't help but find both arguments ridiculous.  I want our boys to learn to read and respect old writings.  I want them to have that connection to our past- to the beautiful literature and historical documents that I hope will help shape who are and who they will become.  And I hope they learn to sign their name, as something so minor is truly a critical part of who we are as individuals.  I hope they strive to stimulate parts of their brain that won't be overtly tested on standardized state tests- as neuropsychology research clearly shows that cursive handwriting accesses and strengthens certain pathways in the brain that are inaccessible by printing or typing.

I hope our boys learn to make a cup of coffee.  Not to push a button on a Keurig and wait for their cup to fill or to drive through a Starbucks and have one handed to them (though they should never be denied such a simple pleasure either!)  I hope they learn to use a French press to make a cup of hot coffee on their own, and then share it with a friend over deep conversation- without an iPhone to interrupt such interaction.

I hope our boys have to write a real research paper.  I hope they learn to take their notes on notecards.  I hope they have to suffer over a fifty page paper after sifting through thousands of pages of journal articles and hundreds of note cards worth of notes- written in their own cursive.  I hope they learn not to trust the first link that pops up when they Google something, not to document Wikipedia as a source, and how to accurately evaluate a piece of information and draw their own conclusions from it.  I have long graded an annual "research" project that Jon's students used to do as part of their school's science curriculum- a project where the kids were given 50 pieces of information to find on the Great Lakes.  While his school dubbed this as a wonderful integration of technology, I saw first hand that the kids simply selected the first link that popped up on Google and inserted it into their project without even bothering to see what it was.  When asked for a map of the Ogallala Aquifer in the Midwestern states, I would get dozens of maps of Spain, China, and the Antartic.  I hope my boys completely and utterly fail such a project should they ever complete one in this manner.

And as I finally pulled into the restaurant I was meeting my friends at, a restaurant far from the downtown hot spot scene on a side road surrounded by fields and forest, I hope that my boys learn to ask locals for the best places to eat.  I hope they don't come to rely on Yelp and its sidekicks for information, but that they grow up realizing that no matter how advanced the technology, real people always provide the best answers and experiences.  I hope they pull over and ask a local shop owner where to get a good sandwich like my mom used to do when we were traveling, even if such a place only garners 1.5 stars and has dirty bathrooms.  And I hope they get to enjoy that sandwich with good friends like I did.

I love technology.  I really do.  I love setting the DVR so I can watch shows without having to disrupt our family's evening routine before bed.  I love being able to Google the answer to any question the boys may stump me with (despite the fact that they are 3 years old!).  And I love Starbucks.  I really, really love Starbucks.  Like, really.  But I'm so afraid that with how much I have come to depend on technology, our boys will come to depend on it even more- to the exclusion of some of life's greatest pleasures.  And some of life's little pleasures that were masked by extreme annoyance during childhood- page after page of curly cue letters or turning a map over and over and over until I could figure out what was up and what was south.  I fear for what will happen to our world when we have a technology for everything, to the point that we no longer have to think for ourselves.  So I am determined to teach our boys how to read a map, how to look around while they drive, how to read the original copy of the Declaration of Independent in all of its cursive glory, how to make a cup of fresh coffee, and how to find the best little hole in the wall in any town they ever have the pleasure of passing through.  I hope you teach your children the same.  And I hope you think back to your own childhood and find something, something small and minor that you hope your children will do at some point in their lives, even if there is an easier or faster way to do it.